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eerie feelings mixed with a sense of comfort


sitting here in my chair, it feels like the last
two months didn’t even happen. i have the exact
same feelings inside as i once did. these feelings
are a mixture of comfort and discomfort.

there are so many things here, which i enjoy;
a real bed, a tv with satellite, and of course
this chair i am sitting on. (wow i blog about chairs a lot)
but when i think about it, i could very easily have these
things in vancouver. the only thing missing is my alarm clock.
last night i went to look over at it at least three times, and it wasn’t there. (it’s in vancouver)

so, i am going to take the next step when i get back,
and buy some stuff, attempt to fill my apartment with
‘things’ that i will become accustomed to.

it’s almost like making a commitment of some sort,
by creating a pseudo-foundation of material objects
to live upon that essentially weigh me down and secure me
to a specific time and place.


christmas


15:03
odd; i have escaped my bedroom yet to find another one. i am in my room, listening to music, eating some shortcake, and drinking some milk. this is kinda what i would do any other dayin my old room, but today, in my new room, i have fallen back to my trusted routine of self-containment. right now, i am just killing time before my flight out of here, which would be much better if the flight was right now… this overnight flight is going to suck, especially since i haven’t flown a commuter flight on a discount airline since… well never. coming to vancouver, i rode in style, with free flowing food and drinks… now i am going home, cramped in the ‘back of the bus’… ohh well.. maybe.. hopefully, it won’t be as painfully uncomfortable as i anticipate.

18:34
well, i just watched a bunch of ‘the simpsons’ and family guy.. that was a good way to kill a few hours… now.. just i just have to watch a few more shows.. then go jump on the bus and get my ass to the airport… i’ll update from there, if the wireless is actually free… (as i read somewhere…) if not.. see ya all in ontario…

21:35
well.. i am at the airport.. just paid telus 8 bucks for an hour of internet… wow… rip off!! naa.. it’s worth every penny to write this message while i am online, kuz you know.. i can’t do that with a computer without an internet connection.. anyways.. everything is closed in this damn airport.. i can’t even get a beer… well.. tim horton’s was open.. so i had a ‘double double’… it was like a weird flash back, but i guess this whole trip will be like that.. anyways.. i am going to go surf now… and get my 8 bucks worth..

peace out and merry christmas!!


a piece of furniture consisting of a seat, legs, back, and often arms (but not in this case), designed to accommodate one person


at first i hated these two chairs. but now i find myself drawn to them. i even moved my speakers to my room, so i could use my futon as a couch.. and chillout there in comfort, with some good sound, but yet i find myself at ‘the table’ sitting on one (of the two) wooden chairs. these chairs are so uncomfortable it hurts, they cut off circulation to every part of my body… it is actually more comfortable and more relaxing to stand up. yet, i am now starting to develop a great appreciation for these chairs…


her


i miss her like ‘weight’….. i dunno why.. there is just something that ‘tickles’ inside… that makes me go… “what the fuck am i doing???”….. and then i consider the consequences and come up with nothing but a big pit of indecision. she seems so kool.. when i am disconnected…. she seems so perfect and wonderful….. but what happens when it becomes routine again… what happens when i am bored…. i want her to be kool,….. fun…. spontaneous…. fun…. and of course…. wonderful… she needs that unique id.. that makes her so different… so whatever… she needs to be with me… we need the risk… and the good times….. we need the excitement that will make this bond so real… and that it becomes surreal….


afternoon thoughts


so well.. i am sitting here, in my apartment.. a saturday.. mid afternoon… i just watched garden state, and really enjoyed it… i love movies like that… i dunno what it is about them… but maybe its the female character that makes it so fun to watch, and makes me so giggley…. natile portman seems to play a good role in every movie… right now.. i can only remember her in ‘beautiful girls’.. but she was good there too… any movie.. that opens your eyes up.. and gives you enough hope.. dot dot dot…..

so i am trying to figure out.. if good music makes a movie good.. or if the movie becomes that much better since the right music is there… i think for sure… music plays a crucial role in a movie… it helps shift emotion, build suspense and express feelings… all good movies have a good sound track…

i kinda want to make a movie, i don’t know about what… nor do i have any specific dialogue created, but i think if i start with the music… and add some characters… connect them somehow… build the story out… reach climax… make the viewers think.. and then end… i think i would have a good movie….

now if i am actually going to do this.. i need a bit more of a plan… i need to start with a script… then storyboard it out… tie is all together… and yeah… final result… a good flick…

it’s all about the music man… it makes it all worth it.. it adds dimension, and flavour to life… when i hear songs today.. that are older.. i connect to the memories that i have… that somehow connect to the song at hand… and then today.. i listen to new songs… that i simply enjoy… and i know sometime in the future, when i hear them.. i will relate them back to the events and times i was once experiencing…

it’s amazing that i can share these thoughts with you all… when you considering that 10 years ago.. this was nearly impossible… it would require great effort to become this connected to me and my thoughts… i would need to trust you enough to give you this info… and yeah… now today… i am sharing it with the world… and you all can share your thoughts back to me… we can all connect, relate, grow, and become better people together…


pizza, beer, people, interests, art, water


so today… was a good day… went to work for a bit, had a lunch out with all my coworkers, then some drinks with most of mycoworkers, got to know them all a little more, as well as gave them a chance to get to know me a little more… …after drinks.. me and mitch went to the VAG and saw Massive Change… it was pretty kool, just the idea of appreciating other peoples work, as well as considering their concepts and theories on how to change the world… and of course how it was all displayed so well… was kool.. i am glad i went, thanks mitch!! it’s too bad the display ends on like jan 3rd.. kuz all my visitors coming to vancouver in jan, may of enjoyed it… hehhe anyways. i am off to bed.. or least gone to watch a streaming feed of the national before my zee’s….. peace.


picture perfect


it’s amazing what an ikea lamp and a slightly over powered light bulb can do to a room… it’s so white and alive!! so today, i finally got a wiki successfully set up… not really sure why, but i have always wanted a place where i can easily toss up some content.. as well as allow others to do so too.. and i was also bored so that helped motivate me a bit… so now i am sitting here, wonder what to do next… i know i have to leave the house.. since i need to return a movie i rented the other day… and that’s a nice short walk down the hill, right by the beach… hey.. maybe i could go now.. and pick up another movie.. and watch that one tonight.. or.. i could go later…. and continue to babble here…

so it’s been over a month now in vancouver, and i am starting to feel settled.. i still need a shit load more furniture, but i am getting there. something feels right.. right now… the atmosphere in my room here is just perfect.. i am looking over at my little table, where my glass of wine resides just out of reach… it is beside my ipod, speakers, empty tea cup and a pair of tea lights… the image just looks good.. i wish i had a camera to capture it… just so i can put it in this blog and have a record of it along with this text… i also wish i had another bottle of wine, since the little amount that remains in that glass was the last bit from my only lonely bottle.

so the weekend is nearly over, and tomorrow is back to work. this is good, kuz i want to focus on work for a while. i want to get the most out of this position, and make it all that it can be. i also want to grow as an individual through this position.. by bring in my past experiences and creating many new ones… i want to challenge myself and see what i can do. now let’s just see how this week goes, since it will be very different than last week… but i have a feeling.. all will be swell.


undiscontinuity


sunday morning: relaxed.
streaming internet radio playing, woxy to be exact.
tea in a cup nearby, so nice and warm: sigh.
powerbook on my lap, allowing the internet to fill the gap.


wireless fidelity


yey wireless.. i bought a linksys wrt54g today.. and i am loving it.. it’s great to have the right tools to do stuff.. before.. our network was a total hack job.. and now it is wonderful… and secure too.. i set it up.. to use WPA Pre-Shared Key (TKIP) and I only allow specific MAC addresses to connect… i even changed the default password, which 87% of people don’t… i really don’t care about the security.. but it was so easy to implement, i thought i might as well… the hardest part of setting up this network was buying the fucken thing… the assholes at futureshop.. tried to get out of their lowest price guarantee.. but fuck it.. i am not getting into that story.. hehe.. but i did win the battle…

my phone is working now too…. kuz i can plug in my little voip box into the router!! yey.. phone and internet simultaneously!! if you are looking for a voip service.. check out digitalvoice.ca and if you plan on signing up.. use my link.. since i will get some mad ongoing discounts…

anyways.. must finish laundry.. peace..





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