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her


i miss her like ‘weight’….. i dunno why.. there is just something that ‘tickles’ inside… that makes me go… “what the fuck am i doing???”….. and then i consider the consequences and come up with nothing but a big pit of indecision. she seems so kool.. when i am disconnected…. she seems so perfect and wonderful….. but what happens when it becomes routine again… what happens when i am bored…. i want her to be kool,….. fun…. spontaneous…. fun…. and of course…. wonderful… she needs that unique id.. that makes her so different… so whatever… she needs to be with me… we need the risk… and the good times….. we need the excitement that will make this bond so real… and that it becomes surreal….


afternoon thoughts


so well.. i am sitting here, in my apartment.. a saturday.. mid afternoon… i just watched garden state, and really enjoyed it… i love movies like that… i dunno what it is about them… but maybe its the female character that makes it so fun to watch, and makes me so giggley…. natile portman seems to play a good role in every movie… right now.. i can only remember her in ‘beautiful girls’.. but she was good there too… any movie.. that opens your eyes up.. and gives you enough hope.. dot dot dot…..

so i am trying to figure out.. if good music makes a movie good.. or if the movie becomes that much better since the right music is there… i think for sure… music plays a crucial role in a movie… it helps shift emotion, build suspense and express feelings… all good movies have a good sound track…

i kinda want to make a movie, i don’t know about what… nor do i have any specific dialogue created, but i think if i start with the music… and add some characters… connect them somehow… build the story out… reach climax… make the viewers think.. and then end… i think i would have a good movie….

now if i am actually going to do this.. i need a bit more of a plan… i need to start with a script… then storyboard it out… tie is all together… and yeah… final result… a good flick…

it’s all about the music man… it makes it all worth it.. it adds dimension, and flavour to life… when i hear songs today.. that are older.. i connect to the memories that i have… that somehow connect to the song at hand… and then today.. i listen to new songs… that i simply enjoy… and i know sometime in the future, when i hear them.. i will relate them back to the events and times i was once experiencing…

it’s amazing that i can share these thoughts with you all… when you considering that 10 years ago.. this was nearly impossible… it would require great effort to become this connected to me and my thoughts… i would need to trust you enough to give you this info… and yeah… now today… i am sharing it with the world… and you all can share your thoughts back to me… we can all connect, relate, grow, and become better people together…

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