i can feel it, i can feel myself changing and it’s draining me. it must be; there is no other explanation why i am beat ass tired at 8:30. i even caught myself feeling the urge to thank andrei for his help tonight, when typically this has always been an unspoken appreciation. it’s always been like that with my friends; you just know the other person means well and that you appreciate each other. but working in this office setting is changing me. people thank and apologize for everything, it’s like if you don’t people will not help you out next time. but why? everyone knows everyone means well, and everyone knows that they all need to get along to accomplish our goals, so why the need for this unnecessary thanking back and forth. i dunno it just seems all so superfluous. but maybe that’s how it is in the real world, people simply need to appear as if they care, while actually they may or may not, and that’s all that matters. the problem is, i sometimes find it hard to determine if people are being genuine with me or if it is just bullshit… i dunno… but i am changing… and it’s scaring me… so here’s what i am going to do… i am going to continue to learn how to express my appreciation for ‘favours’ that people do for me but I will NOT become some over apologetic or over thankful fake.
I just wanted to thank you joe
mark, no problem, i am glad we were able to pull it off given the circumstances and i just wanted to let you know that if you ever need a hand or have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact me. thanks again, and sorry for the delay in getting back to you.
and mom.. some very good points… it just going to take some more time to get used to, even though i think i already accustomed to it, i just need to work on estabilishing equilibrium again.
..this is called office ettiquete..and yes it is sugar coated bullshit at times. Some people have these “manners” and hollow forms of expression in certain segments of society. A relationship with a friend, family member or someone close doesn’t always require a “thanks” or “sorry” – it is a given. Business acquaintances and coworkers have not crossed the “familiarity line” and the distinction has to be in the manner of communication (office politics). It is odd that we humans are more polite to strangers than to those close to us – It takes a lot of energy to adapt to this office mentality because you are not accustom to that form of expression. You’ll get used to it. I worked in a factory and when I made the transition to office I was told I had a factory mentality and that I better hone my office manners.
In this world there are many, many, many real worlds. Don’t sweat it too much. You have had a great transformation in your life. It is a shock to the system to work full time, take the bus to and from work, move across the country….shall I go on? …….You must have time for you, make the time, take the time. Do whatever is necessary to find a balance so that your energy increases….- don’t give your precious energy away…….set your physical / emotional/ intellectual boundaries……….vitamin b12.