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consume to distract


whenever i am bored, i find myself reaching out to consume something. i either find myself windows shopping online or getting the urge to go out to a physical store. it is like buying something will gobble up my idle time and connect me with the rest of the world. even if i go to the mall, it’s not like it will be a social outing; i will just walk around mindlessly and probably actually only buy something in the food court. so today i cleaned instead. sure, it really wasn’t any fun, but it needed to be done. i still want to go out and buy something though. some kind of toy that will merely entertain me – i just don’t know what to buy since i have everything that i actually need. maybe i should just go walk around the city, but i know i will just end up at a starbucks, and spend four bucks on some kind of latte, so.. i dunno. **time passes as i take a shower** so now i am clean too, and what to do? i need some friends man!! i am definitely going through friend withdrawal. shit, i don’t even know if i remember how to make friends (that are not from work, or my friends’ friends); it’s been so long since a real friendship has developed purely out of coincidence. i guess i haven’t needed to know, since my circle of friends was such a mixture of interrelated friendships. there was a time that i liked to think that it was me, that connected everyone and that enabled many of the friendships to occur. but now i know it may be true for some, but more realistically it was due to the collective effort of everyone. so i sit here alone in my room, with a big city moving around outside and i wait. i wait for something to happen… something to either motivate me, that will put me in a situation where a friendship will ignite or something that will take my mind off of the situation. i know it won’t happen in my room, but i know if i go out in public i will just fade into the background and involuntarily become drawn away.



Hot Mama

This may sound old school, but what about joining somekind of club or enrolling for a class, something like photography, that way you’ll be doing something you already enjoy and that activity will lead to you meeting people that you already have at least one thing in common with? Even if it doesn’t end in new relationships, you’ll have gotten out of your apartment one or two nights a week and you’ll also have all of the info from the actually course.

2005.02.06 08:30

yeah, that’s what everyone (well actually just you and kat) seems to be suggesting and it’s not a bad idea. i was leaning a bit more towards a culinary class than ‘photography’; however, some kind of alluring new media clique could be quite enjoyable as well. i guess i just need to figure out what i want to do and what skills or talents i want to develop or concentrate on. i do think trying something completely new would be more fulfilling. that way if it sucks or if it is just not my thing, i have at least tried it. but yeah, then i lose that common ground thing, well except for the fact we are all at the same place. hmmm… *-)

2005.02.06 12:00

Hot Mama

Wow, thats funny, I was actually gonna say a cooking class, not that you need one, but that would be fun. Well its one idea, if I think of anything else other than taking out an ad in the paper, I’ll let you know!

2005.02.06 12:16

an ad in the paper to find friends.. hmm… interesting… but do people actually put ads in the paper to find friends, if so… why don’t i just read the ads currently in the paper and save a few bucks… but wait… i don’t want loser friends like myself. hehe

2005.02.06 12:42

mitch

“i donít even know if i remember how to make friends”

think I know what you mean. and even when you do meet someone really out of the ordinairy, it’s hard to hang on to them. eventually the group of friends you have gets filtered down into a very select few. it’s hard to break out. (hope I don’t sound bitter.)

anyway, if the classes don’t work, there’s always meetup.com. ():}

<3 m

2005.02.06 19:50

yeah.. the ‘hang on’ thing… it tuff… kuz people always have their old friends to hang on to… people are reluctant to give it all.. to establish a new friendship… and the worst part is… when ever you meet someone kool.. you need to act immediately… kuz if you stumble at all.. you end up losing them as a possible friend.. and they quickly become some random person you simply had a moment with… and yeah.. mitch.. you don’t sound bitter.. you are bang on… people tend to fall back into their comfort zones… and tend to accept their lives as is.. i guess that’s the way we have all become conditioned…

2005.02.06 20:31

kat

it’s called ‘retail therapy’ !! known by women everywhere

2005.02.06 23:45

but why do ‘women’ feel better after consuming?? why does it fill the gap? what is it about ‘owning’ or ‘having’ something that makes you feel more human?

2005.02.07 00:38

lavalife. bitch!

2005.02.07 10:12

kat

….because, u can instantly achieve a goal in your life (even if it as little or relatively meaningless) as buying a dress or CD..etc

2005.02.07 19:07


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