it was a time when it was all so new, all so unknown, and all so exciting. at the time it felt like i knew it all, i believed, i had hopes, expectations, and being right there, i lived it and it was perfect. now, for something to feel real or right or whatever, i compare it to the past events. my history is just full of benchmarks and now it feels like all that can be, once was. it’s sad.. because my future aspirations are to feel how i once did… i want to re-experience things that will make me feel good… but i can’t. i can’t do it.. and i don’t know why… where did the butterflies go?!? and where did all this self-doubt come from!??! wtf is wrong with me?!!? meh…
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