i can feel it, i can feel myself changing and it’s draining me. it must be; there is no other explanation why i am beat ass tired at 8:30. i even caught myself feeling the urge to thank andrei for his help tonight, when typically this has always been an unspoken appreciation. it’s always been like that with my friends; you just know the other person means well and that you appreciate each other. but working in this office setting is changing me. people thank and apologize for everything, it’s like if you don’t people will not help you out next time. but why? everyone knows everyone means well, and everyone knows that they all need to get along to accomplish our goals, so why the need for this unnecessary thanking back and forth. i dunno it just seems all so superfluous. but maybe that’s how it is in the real world, people simply need to appear as if they care, while actually they may or may not, and that’s all that matters. the problem is, i sometimes find it hard to determine if people are being genuine with me or if it is just bullshit… i dunno… but i am changing… and it’s scaring me… so here’s what i am going to do… i am going to continue to learn how to express my appreciation for ‘favours’ that people do for me but I will NOT become some over apologetic or over thankful fake.