most likely

i’m just here to type.

somewhere fresh and clean. somewhere open and free.

this keyboard makes me feel like typing.

but i don’t have much to say (yet).

i don’t want to talk about the past. or really what is happening right now.

i’m curious about the future and what i’ll feel.

feel… ?

us twelve years into the future was brought up tonight.

twelve years didn’t seem too far in the future. but, yeah, no, wow.

i wonder how my friends figured it out twelve years ago.

i’ll ask them sometime soon.

kindness

ugh, i’m sitting here wondering why there doesn’t seem to be a platform just for me.

fuck off! i can do what i want… thank you younger me!

today is like…

1. putter
2. shop
3. web3
4. grief
5. future

but also maintain.. i now worry about maintenance… and insurance.

freedom! sex! drugs! money!

comfort. security. peace. and…

the most aware

i’m the most busy.. the most active.. the most engaged.. the most experienced.. but also the most doubtful. i know the most people and i have the most assets. and i’m the most sad. and the most alone. and the most aware than ever.

jovial

it wasn’t that i disagreed with it, but being in an environment where compliments are far too often used as a tactic on the unsuspecting, it certainly stopped me in my tracks.

it’s not everyday someone freely dishes out an adjective that so accurately characterizes you in a manner that, just hearing it, reminds you and reassures you that you actually just might be that person you’ve always been.  you could even say it only happens once in a blue moon.

anyway, in a time when i would, more often than not, identify and describe myself with its antonyms, it was a refreshing surprise.

thanks friend.

reckless consumer

many of you already know this but for those of you who don’t… riding a shopping cart down the parkade ramp at costco #552 is my absolute favourite thing to do in vancouver.

i not very good at it… like.. i can really only go about 5 metres without running into one of the walls… but look what i found: this.

thanks internet.  muha-haha. 🙂

what do i have to offer

What do I have to offer?
You didn’t offer me anything.
This is my next project.

Over the past few years my focus has been on skill acquisition and mastery. Haven’t really had a game plan other than first identifying a hole in my life and filling it with something new that would challenge me and would hopefully benefit me in some kind of serendipitous way.

‘Things always work out’ has been my motto forever. But this isn’t necessarily true anymore.

Things need triggers. People need to be pushed.

ohhh that’s soo hard for me to type out. I don’t believe that at all. I know things will work out. They always work out!!

People do need to take risks. Me. I’ve taken managed risks. That’s my thing. Baby steps. Micro assessments. And such.

But I’m doubting myself lately.

no right answer

over the last few years i’ve changed.

i’ve kept some things fairly constant (my job, my home) but for the most part i’ve been starting, stopping, trying, fiddling, and tweaking things.

major shit has happened (dad’s heart attack then stroke, grandpa’s cancer, grandma’s passing away, and more…)

i’ve worked on big projects… i’ve travelled.

i’ve learned about a new industries:  video games.

i’ve grown a beard, bought a hat, joined a softball team.

i’ve had ups and downs in relationships and even cut friends from my life.

i’ve read books, attended dozens of concerts, and even started to gain an understanding and appreciation for music created before i was.

i’m not optimistic by default as i once was.  i know shit sucks now.  but i kinda like knowing that.

squirt gun

squirt gun

Originally uploaded by velkr0.

blog is back!

hey kids.. the blog is back…

all it took was hanging out with a few of my coworkers… and quality time in the meeting room.. and the blog was back.. and updated (to the newest version of wp) in no time…

let’s see what happens now…

summer