rewards vis-a-vis goals

digital cameras and studying.. wow.. maybe i was so enthusiastically looking to find a digital camera yesterday, because well, i needed to stall studying.. this studying for the lsat is so weird… kuz i don’t know the answers.. i can’t study material.. and memorize it like i have for every test i have ever written… read, memorize, regurgitate, forget…. this test… it about proficiency in logical and analytical reasoning as well as reading comprehension… i have been practising style and technique rather than ‘studying’…. this is all good… but i am a bit nervous… kuz i don’t know how i will perform on exam day… even if i get my reading speeds up… and my time to answer questions down… how will i feel on the day of the exam?? now.. this uncertainty is playing a role in my procrastination… because if i don’t know, or really even have a good idea (based on past experiences) how can i determine the best way for me to prepare for this exam… i can’t simply follow the suggestions of the authors of my study books… kuz… sure their strategies may work for the masses, they may not for me… just like for normal exams… some kids would stay up all nite studying… me on the other hand.. would goto bed early… and stop studying… kuz i found i performed better if i was well rested and if my brain was not over loaded with every last detail… anyway, i have worked hard (and still need to for the next 2 weeks), and deserve (/will deserve) to buy myself a toy… its been over a year since i have bought one… and since then i have graduated university, completed some small goals, did a few extra jobs for some spending cash, and well… yeah… so hey.. this is what i am going to do… i am going to get back to my box and continue preparing for this test… and once i have completed the test on oct 2nd and my temp job on oct 3rd… i will reward myself.

update [13:04]: of course the following line was found in my horoscope today… for all you nay-sayers… i dunno “Be careful of doing anything to excess and avoid wasting money on items that appeal to your fancy now but do not have any lasting merit or appeal.”