well… this week has been busy busy, it fucken weird working everyday… it sucks too, kuz the things i enjoy doing, i can’t do… i can’t blog, i can’t be an information junky, i can’t stay up all night, i can’t lounge all day and think about things… i guess when you work everyday… you need to become a ‘company man’… and i guess this is the only way to get satisfaction from work (excluding work that actually helps people of course)… now i think my problem is that i am starting at ground zero in my company.. i am the lowest of the low, and it feels like my accomplishments have been ignored, my position requires no knowledge… you could learn everything during training, and be successful in this position… i could add a lot to this company, and i could be quite successful… there is plenty of room to go up!! but it sucks that i am at zero of a billion… i guess i need to prove myself, to get noticed and to do this, i need to be willing to work for free, ship a few more units, and sell myself out to the man…
i guess in reality, i haven’t really proved much to the world yet. sure i finished school, but big deal.. this does give me more clout… (it just has made me smarter, determined, and more goal oriented than most) but it has also made my head a lot bigger.. not that i think that i am better than ppl who have not finished school, but i tend to notice when people do not have a liberal education. they tend not to see the value in life, yourself, the things you enjoy, etc… it all boils down to money for them… and this was how i was before i completed my degree….
so the question is, do i still have what it takes to be successful in the business, for-profit world? can i work 9-5? i think i can… i just think i need the right opportunity, as well, the dedication to continue to improve myself in all aspects… i need to maintain the balance…
it just bothers me.. because during all this training they are trying to make everyone company orientated, and they do this by providing incentives… which is all good.. and it all makes sense in the business world… but really, do i care if best buy/future shop makes 5 billion in sales over the next 5 years (5 in 5)… and the answer is…. “i don’t know”….
i don’t know if i should sell people 50 dollar cables to hook up their dvd players to their tv… especially when i know these people are on budgets.. and they just want to make their family members happy at christmas…. now.. if i was all money and company orientated.. i would… i would sell the $150 dollar dvd player, with the $50 cables, and the $50 product performance plan… why? kuz i make more money if i rip ppl off… sales sucks… i don’t want to lie to people… fuck what i am saying.. i haven’t even been on the floor yet… but i just know, it’s the people that can’t afford to be ripped off, that always get ripped off….
i know i am just kinda all over the place right now, but i am just venting all my thoughts, kuz i haven’t had time to do this… fuck.. i should be looking for an apartment though, so i can have some comfort and satisfaction in my living conditions…
i miss my writing, i miss my music, i need to put these back into my life… there is so many thing i have to do… but guess what? its fucken awesome.. kuz i made the first step.. by changing up my old routine… i did it… just need to become a bit more settled in.. and it’s done… then i can focus on some new goals… and continuing happiness….
everyday.. i see the “bums”, i see the “successful”, i see the students, i see the “working class”, i see people from a billion different cultures, and then i see me (in the reflection on the window of one of the many buses/skytrains that i am on, or in the puddles on the ground)
how do people do it? do people just not question it? do people just accept things and their life as it is? if so that sucks… but maybe everyone on is just in their process… i guess they say life is a journey; not a destination.. so i guess this is my life.. it’s kinda kool… when i was in training today.. i looked around.. and i was like… wow.. i don’t know any of these 100 people… yet… i have still developed ‘friendships’ with a few…
it’s kinda neat how future shop put so much effort/money into training… i do give them credit for that… (mind you, they need to, kuz most of the people they hire do not know shit, when they walk through the door)… me.. i don’t know shit either… i am in a department that i know nothing about, nor do i have much interest in… but that’s the kool part, i am going to learn something… and i will improve my sales skills, that will benefit me in many aspects of my life…
i belong in support though, i enjoy problem-solving… etc… support is actually helping people… sales is just ‘evil’… i know i can sell though… i know i can do it… i am challenging myself…. i’ve got at least a month to dabble in this… unless i get fired before that.. hehe… but even if i got fired.. that would be kool… kuz that would be a first too!!
(ps. if future shop/best buy IT security people are reading this? can i have a job in headoffice now? get your ppl to call my ppl… thanks)