so this weekend was basically filled with nothing more than me filling every waking moment being a consumer.. and not just to stimulate our economy here or anything, but rather just to buy random shit to fill my apartment up.. you see, earlier this week i cleaned up and well, after the mess was removed.. it seemed so empty and dull.. so that’s why this weekend’s main mission was to gather some intentional clutter…. and now with all my new possessions, my place actually does feel a lot more cozier… mind you, i still do need a bunch of other junk.. but there is always umm.. the future, for that…
now, looking back i kinda wish i did something crazy this weekend, something to actually remember it by… sure i was a rebel when i ran across the santa claus parade, to catch to the bus… or when i took my time vacating my apartment when the fire alarm went off.. but i think i need to do more.. i think i need to do something with some greater influence and with some real consequences (and preferably something positive, since i am beyond that whole self-destructive teenage rebellion/angst thing)… maybe it’s the fact i am just becoming too civilized… this urban setting can only be damaging to my true essence… since it does nothing but try to beat out my innate manly instincts and recondition me to be this little perfect vancouverite… maybe the key is to be a ‘dick’ now and then, since this disrespect is probably the easiest and most visible way to demonstrate control over myself… but then again.. this must be reserved for the right situation, since if it is uncalled for, i will actually feel like a ‘dick’.. and well, that is not the goal here… the whole point is to be human.. and to feel ‘stuff’… sure, i can play the ‘nice’ card.. but that only comes across as me being phony, so there is no point.. i dunno… maybe i should just go shopping again and not worry about it…