escaping the grand ennui

Change: something that I used to be so accustomed to and now have become so unfamiliar with. My life has pretty much been static for quite sometime now. Nothing progressive has really has happened – nothing overly good and nothing overly bad. Sure, a few things have occurred. I have graduated from University, which is good; but then I have lost a friend, which is bad. Overall though, I would say my live is not totally stagnant, but rather it has become slightly downward sloping. This is quite disappointing for me and this is why my move next week is so important. It will give me the chance to change, grow and become the person I want to be.

That’s all I am going to write now, since I really don’t know where I am going with this, but right now I am experiencing a lot of mixed emotions, including: sadness, regret, anxiousness, fear, excitement, happiness… etc. It’s all kind of kool! I am feeling stuff and I feel human. I guess when you make decisions that change your life and the life of others; you kill the apathy inside and become human once again.


Change happens whether we sit back and plan it or whether we sit back and wait for it to happen. If we wait for change to happen eventually we adjust to other people’s plans or in some cases because of external situations (which are still controlled by people somewhere). If we plan change, then there is a shift of energy and focus and a bunch of other people adjust. When we change our clothes we do it for reasons. Somehow by changing our clothes we justify our actions because of our initial reasons (ie the clothes are dirty, wrinkled, not suitable for occasion, ripped, etc). There is always a reason for change. The reason for change is important because if there is no reason, why promote change. Change affects the human race. One single decision for change involves multitudes of people eventually. Every person that is involved in the change (either directly or indirectly) will experience a shift because of that initial decision for change. By taking responsibility to decide a change is necessary you co-create a shift of energy…….the other people involved also needed the change because they are the people that were sitting back waiting for change to happen to them. Of course there will be mixed feelings…..probably the same feelings you experience when a decision is made for a change. The change has begun……your personal path is awaiting you….. as you unpack your suitcase of knowledge, dreams, ambitions and hopes as a guiding light, remember that you will be under the wings of many angels until you learn to fly by yourself.

2004.11.06 12:30 pm

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