well… i have always wondered when people would start to use RSS… it was a really good idea… and seemed quite useful… the problem was… you would have to use an RSS reader.. which would be able to browse the billions of headlines for all your favourite news sites/blogs… but when ever you wanted to get more than the headline (and very brief description), you would have to click it.. and view the page in your web browser… this was kinda cumbersome… kuz why wouldn?t you just use your web browser in the first place… and goto the sites you want to check the headlines of… so that why i never really used it… but with the new version of FireFox… it has a feature called ‘live bookmarks’… basically… FireFox has incorporated RSS into the bookmark.. meaning… you can check you headlines in your bookmarks.. and if you see one you like.. you simple click on it… its amazing… its probably the best way anyone could incorporate RSS…. it still has a few bugs… and should be easier to add live bookmarks… (some websites its easy, others not so… ) but yeah.. check it out if you get a chance… its worth it…
digital cameras and studying.. wow.. maybe i was so enthusiastically looking to find a digital camera yesterday, because well, i needed to stall studying.. this studying for the lsat is so weird… kuz i don’t know the answers.. i can’t study material.. and memorize it like i have for every test i have ever written… read, memorize, regurgitate, forget…. this test… it about proficiency in logical and analytical reasoning as well as reading comprehension… i have been practising style and technique rather than ‘studying’…. this is all good… but i am a bit nervous… kuz i don’t know how i will perform on exam day… even if i get my reading speeds up… and my time to answer questions down… how will i feel on the day of the exam?? now.. this uncertainty is playing a role in my procrastination… because if i don’t know, or really even have a good idea (based on past experiences) how can i determine the best way for me to prepare for this exam… i can’t simply follow the suggestions of the authors of my study books… kuz… sure their strategies may work for the masses, they may not for me… just like for normal exams… some kids would stay up all nite studying… me on the other hand.. would goto bed early… and stop studying… kuz i found i performed better if i was well rested and if my brain was not over loaded with every last detail… anyway, i have worked hard (and still need to for the next 2 weeks), and deserve (/will deserve) to buy myself a toy… its been over a year since i have bought one… and since then i have graduated university, completed some small goals, did a few extra jobs for some spending cash, and well… yeah… so hey.. this is what i am going to do… i am going to get back to my box and continue preparing for this test… and once i have completed the test on oct 2nd and my temp job on oct 3rd… i will reward myself.
update [13:04]: of course the following line was found in my horoscope today… for all you nay-sayers… i dunno “Be careful of doing anything to excess and avoid wasting money on items that appeal to your fancy now but do not have any lasting merit or appeal.”
it’s now 4 oclock and i have done fuck all today, i attempted to apply for one job (but was talked out of it due to lack of pay), i have paid some bills, and looked into the application process for EI. i could just go have a beer and relax… or get in the car and visit some friends… or take my laptop to the store so they can fix the optical drive and look at the screen… but i don’t want to… i was going to go for a bike ride.. but my tire is flat… i should go fix my tire… yeah.. or maybe just go for a run… i want to play some tennis actually… but it seems like i am the only bum around so finding a tennis partner is difficult… i could clean this mess up… but naaa… i am so antsy… industrious to find myself some happiness… but somehow lost and incoherent to any direction in life…. well that’s not totally true… i have a general idea of the direction i want to take… and that direction is anywhere ‘up’… i refuse to waste anytime going ‘down’… this up and down scale is totally subjective to my beliefs and ideas of what life could/should be… basically meaning right now i am not willing to do something that does not require the ‘hoops’ i have already passed through… (ie skool, experience, etc…) this makes perfect logical sense… (why would i want to go backwards?) so this means what? i need to focus on what will make me happy, not what will simply give me money… now.. i think i would settle for something that gives me money and respect, even if i will not be totally happy with it… kuz that respect and money can be transferred into other aspects of my life… which could lead to happiness… anyways.. i am going for a run… peace out all!!
are you a slashdot reader? are you an addict? if you you may be accustomed to the following phrases on the top of your slashdot page.
– Have you Meta Moderated recently? Regular Meta Moderators are more likely to get mod points.
– You have 5 Moderator Points! Use ’em or lose ’em!
– The next Slashdot story will be ready soon, but subscribers can beat the rush and see it early!
i used to like meta moderating… it was like.. hey i am almost a geek… and then one day.. i got real mod points.. and i knew i was a geek… i always made sure to use them all up… and now… nothing… i simple ignore these common phrases (unless i blog about them)…
now really who would subscribe to slashdot… really do you really get to know something before someone else if you subscribe? no you don’t… even you you did.. who cares… it’s like a 4 minute delay… but in reality you never will kuz slashdot is like a blog of other news stories from other sites… so if you read every site on the internet you can know stuff even before the slashdot subscribers… another good site.. that is kinda of fun once and a while is fark.com… fark is huge… not as big as slashdot..and its readers don’t matter as much… but its still kool…
slashdot readers are loyal man… .they post… they critique… they create community… the internet is kinda neat that way… community… something that dies in the suburbs of life… something consumerism kills… but online community is king!! thanks slashdot… and of course my reader(s)!!! i know yer there… you just prefer to read and not be involved.. thats kool… but really feel free to leave a comment…
well i applied for one billion jobs today… and i doubt that i will even get a call from any of them… online job searches are just not an effective way to progress… it is all about connections… i just wish i knew more people with some clout…. there are a few people in my life that have put for some effort in helping me… and i do appreciate it… once i score a job.. you will be named 😉 thank you… so today was the second day of me being a bum… and it wasn’t too bad.. it actually did feel like i was progressing in this job hunt… i think as long as i put a daily effort in.. something is roll around… i am still keeping my expectations high.. kuz there is no point getting distracted working some shit ass job that i am over qualified for…
i could put my energy into something entrepreneur-ish… but i am keeping that as a side project… kuz right now i want to work for someone… the freelance web devel income is nice tho… i do enjoy depositing those cheques… i should go buy something nice right now… while i still have some extra cash… before i have to spend it on survival… i think tomorrow i will look into interest relieve on my OSAP… kuz that came outta my bank today… and sucked ass… kuz i have no more income… so…. yeah… i need to do that…
i still want a digital camera tho… i think i may buy one this weekend… but hopefully not… but yeah… i dunno what else to write right now… so yeah.. peace… and until my next submission.
well… it’s over… it’s kinda weird… ending on a note.. that i had no control over… typically i end things when i want to… i like to do it that way so i can end on a high note… this time… i just have to pretend it’s a high note… i have to look at it as an opportunity… a new beginning… a kick in the ass… it’s a wake up!! and do something asshole… why are you so easily beat down by the system… i know i have the world on the tip of my finger.. but its hard to point at one specific place when you have big finger tips… it’s like playing that spin the globe game… “when i grow up, i am going to live… here” game… but the globe is now real.. and my options are limitless… so what’s the problem… why does it feel like i am stuck… stuck in idle… i have a building anger… a tension inside of me… that is coming out.. i just need to focus this anger on something very specific… and something i feel confident that i can achieve… these goals of mine… need to not be at the mercy of others… they need to utilize the freedoms i have… and need to happen as a direct result of my actions… it would be nice… to score something good… from someone else… but when you set personal goals… you can’t depend on others… unless you are willing to become ‘fake’ or ‘suck up’… today was my last day… and today i feel fine… i am just curious how i am going to feel tomorrow… when my alarm goes off at 8 am… and i hit snooze for six and a half hours… and then finally roll outta bed, kuz i have to take a leak… tomorrow i am allowing a write off day… maybe even this whole week… but now is the time to make some drastic changes… i just wish my part time weekend job didn’t exist… kuz i already know it’s going to give me an excuse to do nothing… and then there is writing the lsat.. which is a good goal.. but the problem is… getting into a law school is at the mercy of others.. and something like that cannot be a main goal now.. kuz raising my gpa is simply not an option right now…
the weird part is.. deep inside.. i am still not worried… i am not nervous… i am not worried… it’s my ‘i dunno’… that is forcing myself to get upset about this… i dunno it’s weird… kuz when i sit still and open my eyes for a second… i know that i can do what ever i want… i can accomplish whatever i want… all that matters is that i am happy doing whatever i am doing… now… that’s the tricky part.. what makes me happy?? damn… that one i’ll figure out later.
“This is a pleasant time that is good for all relationships, but you may not feel especially active. Today you tend to attract circumstances, persons or objects, including money, that can be useful later on.
well.. that’s my horoscope for today… and it’s kinda kool… kuz that’s how i live my life everyday… through my “attitude of relaxation and willingness to let [my] life flow without the tension of resistance. ”
just wanted to share.
peace.
velkr0
btw… horoscope Copyright ? 2004 Astrodienst AG
well, this weekend at work went much better… i was confident, knowledgeable and comfortable…. its kinda nice working with a steady flow of people again, well twice a week… any more than that and it would probably get on my nerves… it’s a good setting to work at kuz i don’t have a boss or supervisor looking over my every move… i actually met my supervisor this yesterday… she seems pretty uncomfortable in her role… but her report of me was very good… well.. that’s what it said in every box!! i bet she’ll only be back to visit me once more… and for secret shoppers… i am not worried… it’s just the fear they want to instil in me so i actually go to work, and when i am at work i actually do some work. now.. time to prime for my interview on tuesday!! peace all… and thanks for reading!
well i have an interview on tuesday… this is my last chance to score a full time position with out ending up with any down time. this job is a job i deserve and that i can do. when looking at the other employees, they don’t have the skill, dedication, knowledge that i have. i can be a productive employee, i can produce results and through this i can be paid well, get some benefits so i can goto the fucken dentist and start my self-sufficient lifestyle. it just bothers me when shit sucks… like today.. i am working with a full time person, making about 56k and he is asking me for help… he needs me to do simple shit that he was hired for… my 12/hour has to do this… why? kuz i decided to take some initiative a while back… and i can’t leave this project dead… i need to pass it on to someone and get someone to set it up (for now and the future)…. so… yeah… i will be fine once i score a job, where i either have respect, monetary compensation, or well… actually both! i hope this weekend pisses me off enough to come through brilliantly on tuesday… damn… i should be updating my resume right now and making a fucken portfolio…
i actual felt anger today. when i arrived home, i realized that fedex had still not of been here. its not even a big deal really, but i was like what the fuck, why can’t a big company with high paid employees send me my shit via fedex? first of all i was rushed into thinking that fedex was coming on tuesday, and then a no show all week (except to deliver some other shit). maybe i was so angry because all these big companies can’t give me what i want. and if i don’t get what i want, how can i be motivated to care?!?! this is bullshit… i want to care! i want to put effort in!!! i want to feel like i am earning something!! it has become way to easy to sit back and be my apathetic self. i don’t even think i am that person any more since i was actually angry that fedex never showed…. thank god for this blog, because without it this anger would be sent to my boss, which actually i think it should. ohh well…. i’ll just put minimum effort in and continue to get zero satisfaction.