things to do

alright folks… it’s all about to get serious now… the conservatives are well conservatives… and want to start continue fucking things up… so go grab a nice stiff drink… watch this… and do your part… [link via YouTube]

taxable principles

today, i need to file my income taxes. sure the deadline is not until tomorrow at midnight, but i feel i have already put this off for far too long. you see, it’s unusual for me not to enjoy doing my taxes, since in the past, i have always been amused by the documents that need to be aggregated through this formal and complex system of calculations, and how one slight variation of a single entry can result in vast disparities.

maybe all this dawdling is just a result of my subconscious acceptance to paying income tax, and an acknowledgment that my participation in the filing process, could only bring more complication my way. in other words… my taxes are taken off each pay at the appropriate rate, determined by trained professionals… the cra already knows this, and what i make, and what i have paid them.. so why bother asking me again? do they want me, a simply layman, to err in their favour, and pay out more of my hard earned cash than necessary by law? or are they being thoughtful and simply providing me with a formal means to lie, cheat, and steal my way out of paying the required taxes? i don’t know!! shit, maybe overpaying is even a good thing to further help provide the social services and infrastructure we all need and love… i just don’t know anymore!!

jack bauer knows victoria’s secret.

i received ‘a forward’ today from my buddy jordan… and it made me laugh many a time out loud… warning!! it will not be funny to you.. unless you have been slowly working your way through watching 24 on dvd (like i have been)… or if you have been watching the show during actual television broadcasts…

anyway, i am now on day 3 (aka season 3)… at about 11pm (disc 3 of 6)… and for those of you who don’t know what 24 is… it is an american tv show on fox, set in real time, and stars canadian actor kiefer sutherland who plays ‘jack bauer’ and who’s actual grandfather is tommy douglas… the famous five-term premier of saskatchewan, the father of medicare, and the first leader of the ndp…)

now on to ‘the forward’….

When Jack Bauer owes Tony Soprano money, Tony says nothing.

If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he’d shoot Nina twice.

Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.

If you wake up in the morning, it’s because Jack Bauer spared your life.

Jack Bauers calendar goes from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Jack Bauer.

When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack Bauer found it and put it back.

Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.

When President Palmer quit to start doing Allstate commercials, it took him 43 takes before he could stop saying, “You’re in good hands with Jack Bauer”.

Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.

If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jack Bauer says its beef. Then it’s beef.

Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.

1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.

When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer hates lemonade.

Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.

Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.

Osama bin Laden’s recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.

Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.

Jack Bauer doesn’t miss. If he didn’t hit you it’s because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.

When Jack Bauer was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.

There is no such thing as lesbians, just women who never met Jack Bauer.

Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real fact.

Killing Jack Bauer doesn’t make him dead. It just makes him angry.

Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you better do it.

Jack Bauer won the Tour de France on a unicycle to prove to Lance Armstrong it wasn’t a big deal. He thinks yellow wristbands are gay.

When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.

Jack Bauer’s favourite color is severe terror alert red. His second favourite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.

You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink.

If Rosa Parks was in Jack Bauer’s seat, she’d move to the back of the bus.

When Google can’t find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.

Your attraction to Jack Bauer in no way affects your sexual orientation.

Jesus died and rose from the dead in 3 days. It took Jack Bauer less than an hour. And he’s done it twice.

In 96 hours, Jack Bauer has killed 93 people and saved the world 4 times. What the hell have you done with your life?

When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer.

Jack Bauer got Hellen Keller to talk.

Jack Bauer can get McDonald’s breakfast after 10:30.

Jack Bauer once killed so many terrorists that at one point, the #5 CIA Most Wanted fugitive was an 18-year-old teenager in Malaysia who downloaded the movie Dodgeball.

Guns don’t kill people, Jack Bauer kills people.

Every mathematical inequality officially ends with “< Jack Bauer". In kindergarten, Jack Bauer killed a terrorist for Show and Tell. Jack Bauer has been to Mars. That's why there's no life on Mars. Jack Bauer has shot more men in the face than Elton John. If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make a bomb out of MacGyver and get out. Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Jack Bauer laughs at Superman for having a weakness. It would only take 1 bullet for Jack Bauer to kill 50 Cent. People with amnesia still remember Jack Bauer. Jack Bauer literally died for his country, and lived to tell about it. Jack Bauer knows Victoria's secret. What color is Jack Bauer's blood? Trick question. Jack Bauer does not bleed. If you spell Jack Bauer in a Scrabble game, you win. Forever. If O.J. ever met Jack Bauer, he'd confess. "Jack Bauer" is Arabic for "I'm fucked". When Jack Bauer pisses into the wind, the wind changes direction. If Jack Bauer was gay, his name would be Chuck Norris. Jack Bauer does not sleep. The only rest he needs is what he gets when he's knocked out or temporarily killed. Jack Bauer makes onions cry. If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, Jack Bauer hears it.

leanin’ left with a trigga, yo

ok, the Liberal plan to ban hand guns really has my brain in a knot… now let me tell you why.. at first glance, in point form, and over the short-term, a ban on handguns:

• will not reduce homicides, or gang activity;
• will not reduce the use of handguns by criminals;
• will not reduce the supply of illegal handguns;
• actually discriminates against law-abiding citizens, who already have registered handguns; and,
• creates criminals out of currently registered owners unless they become ‘legitimate target shooters who meet strict requirements’ (extra fees not included)

i love it when i hear conservative ‘thinkers’ like Mr. Ralph Klein say things like: “I can ban anything. I can ban tape recorders, by law. It’s not going to stop you from using them” (from the cbc)

and he is 100% right. for instance, if the government decides to ban, steak knives, people will not take advantage of amnesty efforts, or buy-back programs… and it is simply because people need their knives to help facilitate steak consumption (also something klein would appreciate me saying :P)… anyways, most citizens do not use their supply/collection of knives to kill people, even though stabbings do account for the highest proportion of homicides in canada. (statcan)

ok, i’m getting off track here, so lets just assume knives will never be banned since they are essential to human survival, and get back to handguns; since we all know that handguns really only exist to shoot people. if we push politics aside for a moment, and forget about the short-term Liberal intension to gain popularity in urban-canada… we can focus on the long-term effects of a canadian handgun ban and see that over the long-term a ban on handguns:

• will strengthen our socially progressive canadian culture, by providing controls to dampen the need/desire for a handgun;
• will reduce the proportion of homicides caused by handguns, by eliminating the need for gangstas to partake in a self-defeating arms race; and thus,
• will result in a safter society, less reliant on handguns.

Joseph Heath & Andrew Potter, in The Rebel Sell, suggest that differences in “…culture are a consequence of the differences in laws and institutions” and well, this is most clearly seen by comparing us to our friend directly south, where “two-thirds of all homicide victims were killed with a firearm in 2003, [which was] more than double the proportion seen in Canada.” (from statcan) … obviously since canada already has stricter gun laws than the americans.

Ok, so i didn’t really prove anything with this post, and i am still really torn on the issue, even though i am clearly leading a little left…. any thoughts?

christmas spirit and election fever

two exciting events are quickly approaching, and today i started my preparations for both. the first is christmas. this year, i will be breaking tradition for the first time ever. i will be staying in vancouver, and as a result, i will be unable to attend the normal dinners at my grandparents and at my dad’s, and won’t be able to gather with all my friends for some customary festive cheer. now, i know i am going to regret this, kuz it is going to suck ass, when i am sitting here alone on new years.. but at least for christmas, i will be able to feed my dad some of my experimental free-range turkey, while i have some christmas music pumping in the background. (ohh btw my dad is coming to town for a pair of weeks later this month).

now on to the other exciting event… which is the federal election. ohh, how i just love federal politics!! the conservatives have already played all the big cards… shit we’re a week in to the campaign, and they have already played the GST card, which to be honest, totally took me by surprise.. this GST trick of theirs might actually turn out to be a wise move… since we all know (but somehow recently forgot) the broken liberal promise of killing the GST… (damn, wish i had my ‘red book’ here) anyways, when you tie this old (even retired) issue in with the sponsorship scandal, it truly does make a convincing argument that the liberals (or any government) cannot be trusted with all of these surpluses that have been happening year after year. way to go for the conservatives who have been able to take this positive outcome of the liberal leadership and spin it to make their own platform shine!! i love it!! canadian politics rules!! anyways, time to get serious here.. and to let you all know that the conservative campaign is starting to scare me, since it does in fact seem very well planned. they are constantly setting the pace, putting the election focus where they want it and as a result are getting the prime media coverage and possibly gaining popularity [poll check]… i hope my buddies jim, jack and paul, step it up a bit, and provide canadians with some quality bate so we don’t get distracted by all this conservative glitter.

black rod

Well, I just finished watching the ‘Speech from the Throne’, and the content of the speech was alight. It seemed to be pretty much aligned up with Canadian values, etc… However, I found the ‘tradition’ of the speech the most rewarding part of the experience. How the Governor General, Adrienne Clarkson, is welcomed and how she walks into the Senate and how the ‘Usher with the Black Rod’ is sent from her to goto the House of Commons to get the MPs and bring them to the Senate. It all seemed pretty kool, however, many of the MPs seemed quite ‘amused’ with the whole process. This bothered me for some reason, not really sure why, but it felt like they didn’t have to show respect towards our Canadian tradition… like they were above it or like they were too kool to just stand and be quiet. If the Canadian Armed Forces can stand up straight, and display a sense of pride, our elected officials can to. Fuck even Paul Martin was slouched his is chair, and it was his party’s speech Adrienne was reading!! Ohh well, we’ll see what happens with this minority government… it should be interesting. btw kudos to Jack Layton, the only MP I saw taking notes!!

RSS and the CBC

Over the past few weeks I have really been on a RSS kick. RSS is great!! It allows you to automatically receive live updates of news sites, blogs, etc… so when I went to make all my Live Bookmarks (in FireFox), adding the CBC was a must (being the Canadian public broadcaster and all)… but then something disappointing happened… i realized the CBC has no official RSS feed…. I found this quite odd, the BBC, NY Times, Reuters.. etc all have RSS feeds, so guess what… I emailed the CBC.. and this is what they said:

Dear Joe,

Thank you for your email requesting CBC.ca use a RSS feed for headlines.

At this time CBC.ca uses the Klip format, which is a way to allow users to receive CBC.ca headlines at no direct cost to the user. However we are looking at implementing an RSS feed in the near future.

We will certainly send your comments on to the Director of New Media and record them on our Audience Reaction Report, which is circulated throughout our New Media Department, and amongst our senior producers and
programmers within the CBC including the President and CEO, Robert Rabinovitch.

We appreciate your taking the time to contact us.

Parker Bishop
Communications Assistant
CBC Audience Relations

It was a pretty generic response, but I was glad to get a reply, and I hope the CBC implements RSS feeds soon.

UPDATE: 2004.12.12: CBC has RSS now http://www.cbc.ca/rss/

our airways, our messages

looks like Kalle Lasn is up to something good this time… looks like his magazine/foundation [Adbusters Media Foundation] is filing a lawsuit against the major Canadian broadcasters (even the CRTC) for the right to purchase air time on Canadian tv. this suit could have a huge impact on Canadian tv, by diminishing the control broadcasters have over ad content. basically right now… the ads you see are allowed because they support the beliefs of the corporations that own the tv stations. if the courts rule that Kalle can put his ads on… this would allow anyone [with enough money] to purchase air time.. and broadcast their message to the Canadian population…

for more info check out the CBC

the broadcasters (that are using public airways – so basically analog channels/nationwide networks) should not have the right to filter ad content… ad should simply be reviewed by the CRTC… (to filter out truly harmful message, those that hurt people not just profits)…

Kalle says it best: “Essentially, this is about free speech. In a democracy citizens should have equal right to access the public airwaves ? we own them. At the very least, we should be able to buy airtime under the same rules and conditions as corporate advertisers.

ok now i must go study for real…

Canada Day!!

Hey, it’s almost Canada Day again.

There once was a time in my life when this day was the most important day in the year for me.
Way better than my birthday, halloween, and even christmas!!

But, I don’t think canada day has this importance to me anymore.
Not really sure what it is… maybe the fact that people never understood the importance of it to me.. or maybe.. just the fact… that really canada day means nothing…

Sure it’s fucken awesome that we live in canada, a country that allows us to be who we are and reach our goals… but… being ‘flag crazy’ seems just crazy to me now… canada is more than a flag… it’s ‘us’… it’s what we all believe.. and feel.. and participate in… it’s all around us everyday… the flag is just for the rest of the world.. so they can have a emblem that is canadian… we don’t need one… we can be proud of canada without the flag or the maple leaf… or as a matter of fact… beer.. and tim horton’s… relating canada to tim horton’s is just bullshit… fuck some stupid corporation.. who sells crap ass coffee to the 30 million of us everyday… and none of us really like timmies… we just go… kuz its there… its easy… and shit man… its hard to find coffee other than timmies… on campus alone.. there is something like 17 tim hortons… thats nuts!!! why not, ‘joe blow coffee shop’?? why the fuck does it have to be timmies… anyways… tomorrow is canada day… and show your pride tomorrow just as you should everyday!

peace.
velkr0.