vanilla sky

this is an image snaped at the top of grouse mountain overlooking the city of vancouver.

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hmm, i need a way to intergrate images into this blog without not really needing reflect on the photo, but allowing you guys to… hmm.. flickr does this but.. hmm.. i want something more home brew and in my control… and so far i have only set up gallery…. so the pictures go through this process: real life, to camera, to iphoto, to gallery, to here… kinda long and there should be a more simple way. ideally i want my blog to have a side bar of images, that automatically appear at random (or even in chronological order), and yeah.. you click the image.. and you can then comment on it… and read a description of the image if one is provided… i dunno, i’ll figure something out… kuz i want this blog to still be largely text based.. maybe i just need to use flickr for my photos… well the ones i want to share… i can still archive with gallery…

upgrade

well i am going to attempt to do my first WP upgrade, this should be a minor upgrade, since i am only going to move from version 1.2.0 to 1.2.2… i figured this would be the best way to notice how many ‘hacks’ i have done to my WP files over the past six months (to combat spammers, etc)… this way i will be able to document them, and know what needs to be done to move to the current CVS version of 1.5… so just a heads up.. if some functionality is down, or if the looks have changed. i’ll keep you all posted… cheers.

outfitted domicile

so last night, we furnished our apartment!! dre, got a lead on some beds, so we bought two. we then moved my futon into the living room, and morphed it into a wonderful sitting device rather than lumpy sleeping contraption. we then went to fabricland, fabricland! and got some fabric to cover the futon… next stop was value village, where we found 3 awesome chairs for $12.99 each. why stop there, the car still had enough room to see out the windows… so we went to canadian tire, and got a rug, some window plastic stuff and laundry baskets. this was perfect, we got everything.. now none of it matches, not even with the coffee table and side tables (or whatever they are called) dre bought last week. but ohh well, it’s fun being economical and creative. so it looks like we are pretty much ‘set’ now. the apartment is now more liveable.

ps. images will be coming shortly, as soon as i get a chance to intergrate iphoto, flickr, gallery, wordpress, etc. nicely all together – producing a big, happy, organized family of textual and visual narrative

surrealistic event; fucked. i’m sorry.

’tis a sad day, feelings of pain, regret, fear and; fuck, this sucks man… that girl deserved so much more… i did not know her that well.. but from what i did.. i knew that girl was kool… that she was a good person… and i wish i would of know her more… and that she would of known me… it sucks that people get burned when they take initiative and make changes to be better as a person… laura needed to not be around that asshole… she needed be free… she deserves better…. and now its too late… she will miss out on so much… and that fucken dick better rot in hell… laura had something sweet about her, she had a spark, a smile and a face that would make anyone just feel good inside… i enjoyed just being around her… she had an aura that would just make me get goose bumps… i always thought it was kool that alley was good friends with her… and that jordan had a crush on her.. and that… i think i did too… i’ll miss her man… i’ll miss that i missed out on getting to know her better… this is fucked up man…. the first murder of 2005 in london was a girl so interconnected with me… and that the murderer was too… this truly sucks… and i hope larua will connect with someone… and inspire them to make all the right decisions…. her angel will make a difference… it will, she will, i want to believe that is the only way… love is equal to hate and that is shit… fuck hate…

laura, cheers, and i dunno what else to say, but here’s a hug, one that feels so comforting, meaningful, and right. my heart, arms, thoughts and feelings out to you. candles are lighten and memories remembered and will always be remembered. peace girl. < hug >

idle snow

so today, i had a really good day. i was in a good mood and just felt good. everyone seemed to be enjoying the snow, which was idly floating on any exposed surface, especially the branches of trees and on the stems arising from the base of these shrubs.

eerie feelings mixed with a sense of comfort

sitting here in my chair, it feels like the last
two months didn’t even happen. i have the exact
same feelings inside as i once did. these feelings
are a mixture of comfort and discomfort.

there are so many things here, which i enjoy;
a real bed, a tv with satellite, and of course
this chair i am sitting on. (wow i blog about chairs a lot)
but when i think about it, i could very easily have these
things in vancouver. the only thing missing is my alarm clock.
last night i went to look over at it at least three times, and it wasn’t there. (it’s in vancouver)

so, i am going to take the next step when i get back,
and buy some stuff, attempt to fill my apartment with
‘things’ that i will become accustomed to.

it’s almost like making a commitment of some sort,
by creating a pseudo-foundation of material objects
to live upon that essentially weigh me down and secure me
to a specific time and place.

christmas

15:03
odd; i have escaped my bedroom yet to find another one. i am in my room, listening to music, eating some shortcake, and drinking some milk. this is kinda what i would do any other dayin my old room, but today, in my new room, i have fallen back to my trusted routine of self-containment. right now, i am just killing time before my flight out of here, which would be much better if the flight was right now… this overnight flight is going to suck, especially since i haven’t flown a commuter flight on a discount airline since… well never. coming to vancouver, i rode in style, with free flowing food and drinks… now i am going home, cramped in the ‘back of the bus’… ohh well.. maybe.. hopefully, it won’t be as painfully uncomfortable as i anticipate.

18:34
well, i just watched a bunch of ‘the simpsons’ and family guy.. that was a good way to kill a few hours… now.. just i just have to watch a few more shows.. then go jump on the bus and get my ass to the airport… i’ll update from there, if the wireless is actually free… (as i read somewhere…) if not.. see ya all in ontario…

21:35
well.. i am at the airport.. just paid telus 8 bucks for an hour of internet… wow… rip off!! naa.. it’s worth every penny to write this message while i am online, kuz you know.. i can’t do that with a computer without an internet connection.. anyways.. everything is closed in this damn airport.. i can’t even get a beer… well.. tim horton’s was open.. so i had a ‘double double’… it was like a weird flash back, but i guess this whole trip will be like that.. anyways.. i am going to go surf now… and get my 8 bucks worth..

peace out and merry christmas!!

a piece of furniture consisting of a seat, legs, back, and often arms (but not in this case), designed to accommodate one person

at first i hated these two chairs. but now i find myself drawn to them. i even moved my speakers to my room, so i could use my futon as a couch.. and chillout there in comfort, with some good sound, but yet i find myself at ‘the table’ sitting on one (of the two) wooden chairs. these chairs are so uncomfortable it hurts, they cut off circulation to every part of my body… it is actually more comfortable and more relaxing to stand up. yet, i am now starting to develop a great appreciation for these chairs…

her

i miss her like ‘weight’….. i dunno why.. there is just something that ‘tickles’ inside… that makes me go… “what the fuck am i doing???”….. and then i consider the consequences and come up with nothing but a big pit of indecision. she seems so kool.. when i am disconnected…. she seems so perfect and wonderful….. but what happens when it becomes routine again… what happens when i am bored…. i want her to be kool,….. fun…. spontaneous…. fun…. and of course…. wonderful… she needs that unique id.. that makes her so different… so whatever… she needs to be with me… we need the risk… and the good times….. we need the excitement that will make this bond so real… and that it becomes surreal….

afternoon thoughts

so well.. i am sitting here, in my apartment.. a saturday.. mid afternoon… i just watched garden state, and really enjoyed it… i love movies like that… i dunno what it is about them… but maybe its the female character that makes it so fun to watch, and makes me so giggley…. natile portman seems to play a good role in every movie… right now.. i can only remember her in ‘beautiful girls’.. but she was good there too… any movie.. that opens your eyes up.. and gives you enough hope.. dot dot dot…..

so i am trying to figure out.. if good music makes a movie good.. or if the movie becomes that much better since the right music is there… i think for sure… music plays a crucial role in a movie… it helps shift emotion, build suspense and express feelings… all good movies have a good sound track…

i kinda want to make a movie, i don’t know about what… nor do i have any specific dialogue created, but i think if i start with the music… and add some characters… connect them somehow… build the story out… reach climax… make the viewers think.. and then end… i think i would have a good movie….

now if i am actually going to do this.. i need a bit more of a plan… i need to start with a script… then storyboard it out… tie is all together… and yeah… final result… a good flick…

it’s all about the music man… it makes it all worth it.. it adds dimension, and flavour to life… when i hear songs today.. that are older.. i connect to the memories that i have… that somehow connect to the song at hand… and then today.. i listen to new songs… that i simply enjoy… and i know sometime in the future, when i hear them.. i will relate them back to the events and times i was once experiencing…

it’s amazing that i can share these thoughts with you all… when you considering that 10 years ago.. this was nearly impossible… it would require great effort to become this connected to me and my thoughts… i would need to trust you enough to give you this info… and yeah… now today… i am sharing it with the world… and you all can share your thoughts back to me… we can all connect, relate, grow, and become better people together…