Change: something that I used to be so accustomed to and now have become so unfamiliar with. My life has pretty much been static for quite sometime now. Nothing progressive has really has happened – nothing overly good and nothing overly bad. Sure, a few things have occurred. I have graduated from University, which is good; but then I have lost a friend, which is bad. Overall though, I would say my live is not totally stagnant, but rather it has become slightly downward sloping. This is quite disappointing for me and this is why my move next week is so important. It will give me the chance to change, grow and become the person I want to be.
That’s all I am going to write now, since I really don’t know where I am going with this, but right now I am experiencing a lot of mixed emotions, including: sadness, regret, anxiousness, fear, excitement, happiness… etc. It’s all kind of kool! I am feeling stuff and I feel human. I guess when you make decisions that change your life and the life of others; you kill the apathy inside and become human once again.
Man, I getting so pumped right now. Mainly since my old boss is amazing. Anyone willing to put a sincere effort to help others deserves great appreciation. It seems that she is the only person in my life that has actually put effort into helping me – and for this I thank her. Thanks Diane!
My voyage into the unknown is happening Monday, and I am ready. Full effort will go in to succeed and because of this I will. But hey, even if I don’t, I won’t be that hurt because you can’t succeed if you don’t try. I am getting an amazing deal on my flight, because of a good friend of mine (this friend even pays for this site, thanks Ryan!! You’re the best). I have somewhere to go, someone picking me up, and someone to help me get established (Thanks Dre!) I also need to thank my sister and mom for driving me to the airport, my dad for letting me use his suitcase, and everyone else for giving me the confidence and encouragement to expand my wings and get the fuck out of my bedroom. You all know who you are. Thanks!
Baby-cut carrots are not a very good substitute for beer. Sure, they share numerous attributes such as being cold, refreshing, and containing no preservatives… but there is just something about baby-cut carrots that is clearly not as fulfilling as beer. Let’s assume for a minute, that the missing element is NOT alcohol. What could be? Maybe it’s the fact that you ‘drink’ a beer. Drinking is easier than eating, since there’s no chewing. Swallowing a beer is also easier than ingesting a puree of chunky carrot pieces. But then again, maybe it is the packaging? Beer comes in a bottle, can or glass that makes it enjoyable. Baby-cut carrots just come in a bag. This bag of mine, in particular, came with a defective ‘ziplock’ that needed to be ripped off so I could gain access to my little vegetables. I usually don’t put the baby-cut carrots into a bowl or anything, since I like to minimize my dish usage, but I do like eating them out of a glass. So yeah, packaging must make a difference. But, I don’t think that’s fully it either. It must be the fact baby-cut carrots are really only good since they are crunchy and juicy. And beer is good for so many more reasons, like its flavour, tradition, and effects. So I guess to be a good substitute for something, the best attributes of both things must match; and, clearly in this case, baby-cut carrots by simply being cold, refreshing and containing no preservatives, does not supply me with enough satisfaction to be a valid substitute.
So umm, I am having some massive mood swings today, not really sure what is causing them. I think it’s just because I am bored, restless, anxious, and, every other adjective you can think of, that is resulting in outbreaks of happiness, anger, disappointment, and excitement. I am jumping from extreme-to-extreme within a matter of seconds, even right now, writing this, I have experienced all these feelings. I wonder what I can do to centre myself, and bring myself back to a stable state… I do need to go grocery shopping, but I don’t really feel like it though, which is strange since it is normally an activity that I immensely enjoy. There is just something about pushing a cart around at extremely high speeds, maneuvering it through dense, slow-paced traffic that excites me. If that game show ‘supermarket sweep’ were still around, it would be great; I’d go on and win for sure! Anyway, I think I am almost ready to go shopping. Writing this blog by attempting to create coherent statements has really permitted my brain to restore its “stable” state. Peace out for now.
I am at loss for words to share, even descriptions of daily events seem difficult to recite, but I do know something; I am ready. I am ready to make the jump… shit, I’d do it right now… cut loose, and enjoy the voyage into the unknown. But now it is time to finish tying up loose ends, establish some kind of floating foundation, and then make the leap into my future.
I can’t do it… the ad’s haven’t even been on here for a day, and I have decided to remove them. I realized how illogical it is to voluntarily have ads on my own private site. The ads are gone, sorry for selling out there for a minute.
It is kind of a contradiction with what velkr0.org is supposed to encourage and support. It is actually pretty cheesy, seeing what ads are generated based on ‘target’ words found within my writings, but you see I didn’t do it for the money. I have incorporated google ads into the secondary pages of velkr0.org for the purpose of education and for the experience. I needed to use a site that generates sufficient traffic (thank you all), and a site that has content that is constantly changing. The ads really do provide a dirty feeling, like seeing ads for pest control and spider traps under my last post ‘spider webs‘. Fuck what have I done!! I hate the ‘Advertising Supplements’ found in many of the magazines that I subscribe to, and now, I have included one of my own… hmmm… We’ll give it a try for a bit… feel free to bitch me out. But hey.. what if I donate 100% of the revenue generated to some good cause, I wonder if that would me/it less dirty… hmmmm
road closed, this is a sign, that can mean so much. It is a sign that everyone encounters… a sign that people respect, that people understand…. that people can contribute to the meaning of the guideline. fuck this world, fuck dreaming, fuck writing your own, words…. all you need is an idea…. and an image of how to make this image/idea….. i wish i had the connections that i should…. i wish those girls were there for me……..
I could have talked to her for hours. She was the girl that could listen yet still be oddly attracted to me. I was oddly attracted to her. She was a tall, blonde, with a great personality. She was happy to be talking to me, so she brushed off the other d00ds that were trying to pick her up. She wanted to be with me. She picked me, but only because I choose her. I ignored the rain and talked to her. I talked to her friends; as they brushed me off… I persisted with her and she respected that, she wanted the attention, she wanted me to want her, and she knew that she would be happy with me. But then the ride came… and this world is efft, so yeah.. it fucks me over everytime…. But yeah, I could have talked, played, enjoyed, that girl for hours only if i chose to, only if i risked my ride to home (somewhere warm)…. fuck the logic… and the reason… i should of played the odds…. i should be happy right now…. i should be with a friend, a someone….. not the fucken computer……. fuck this….. fuck you blog readers.. (i don’t mean that…… i love you guys.. i need you guys….. i respect your opinion…. ) fuck fuck fuck… it’s so easy to entertain… it’s so easy to do what so many people have problems with…… but with me… no worries….. i can do it all.. but close the sale.
i dunno what i was thinking this morning, but instead of my usual black coffee… i loaded it with sugar… sugar is a magical morning substance when combined with caffeine… but i have all this energy and i have nothing to do… wait.. i think i just crashed…. nap time.