why i didn’t write this blog entry

there are so many things i have wanted to blog about lately… interesting topics that would stir conversation and entertain many of you for hours… like how i think i am almost over my apparent obsession with arguing about the deposit-driven beverage container recycling system here; how routine environments help flourish inside humor and why inside jokes are important; how i am going to go out, buy, and learn, how to play guitar; how i am now a card carrying member of (the evil) costco; how i have made my blog load faster by removing all javascript and tables; how i am in need for a new and refined wardrobe; how i spent 3 evenings in-a-row socializing with other actual real people; and how i did many, many other things that, if i wrote about them, you blog-reading folk could have fed off of for… like i said… hours… but instead… i unintentional (of course) neglect you all… and only share these items in local and offline conversation.

ps. this blog entry kinda reminds me of my grade 8 speech, which broke-free from my then warn ‘story-driven’ type speeches that i had presented since grade 4… so i think i’ll name this post after it… “why i didn’t write this speech” blog entry”

friday

hey, it’s friday, and i am sitting here in the office alone as usual… i guess i could work from home fridays like everyone else… but well.. i’d be alone at home too.. and more than likely, i’d feel even more lonesome there…

anyways, right now i have my old skool mit hoody on (which is nothing like any of these), my headphones pumped, and i am slowly working on becoming over-caffeinated, thanks to the unlimited supply of coffee that resides just steps away from my designated work area…

after a few more coffees i am planning on making it over to one of the offices i provide tech support for.. to set up their new macs for them… nothing overly exciting there.. except the joy that comes from opening apple’s sexy packaging… (which to be honest, doesn’t really excite me anymore – it’s just cardboard!)

and this weekend, i have no plans.. nothing to do except continue pondering purchasing an xbox 360 (which i don’t think i am actually going to buy); finding a new, fun and exciting hobby; or maybe just getting lost in a book, some movies, or a real-life maze… and not one of those mazes made out of trimmed cedar trees, but one that is so real and enormous… that it could be called life itself…

absent flu and tequila shots

so exactly twenty five years after being born, by body decided it would try to be kool… and let the flu right into my invite-only birthday party without actually having an invite.. and as a result, that little unwanted bastard knocked me out of commission for now over 5 days. it has sucked… ryan even flew in from texas for some birthday fun and was stuck pretty much doing nothing with me while i experienced my fevers, chills, sweats, muscle aches, dry coughs, etc….

but yeah, it looks like i am now nearly recovered… and should be heading back to the norm tomorrow….

jack bauer knows victoria’s secret.

i received ‘a forward’ today from my buddy jordan… and it made me laugh many a time out loud… warning!! it will not be funny to you.. unless you have been slowly working your way through watching 24 on dvd (like i have been)… or if you have been watching the show during actual television broadcasts…

anyway, i am now on day 3 (aka season 3)… at about 11pm (disc 3 of 6)… and for those of you who don’t know what 24 is… it is an american tv show on fox, set in real time, and stars canadian actor kiefer sutherland who plays ‘jack bauer’ and who’s actual grandfather is tommy douglas… the famous five-term premier of saskatchewan, the father of medicare, and the first leader of the ndp…)

now on to ‘the forward’….

When Jack Bauer owes Tony Soprano money, Tony says nothing.

If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he’d shoot Nina twice.

Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.

If you wake up in the morning, it’s because Jack Bauer spared your life.

Jack Bauers calendar goes from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Jack Bauer.

When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack Bauer found it and put it back.

Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.

When President Palmer quit to start doing Allstate commercials, it took him 43 takes before he could stop saying, “You’re in good hands with Jack Bauer”.

Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.

If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jack Bauer says its beef. Then it’s beef.

Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.

1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.

When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer hates lemonade.

Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.

Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.

Osama bin Laden’s recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.

Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.

Jack Bauer doesn’t miss. If he didn’t hit you it’s because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.

When Jack Bauer was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.

There is no such thing as lesbians, just women who never met Jack Bauer.

Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real fact.

Killing Jack Bauer doesn’t make him dead. It just makes him angry.

Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you better do it.

Jack Bauer won the Tour de France on a unicycle to prove to Lance Armstrong it wasn’t a big deal. He thinks yellow wristbands are gay.

When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.

Jack Bauer’s favourite color is severe terror alert red. His second favourite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.

You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink.

If Rosa Parks was in Jack Bauer’s seat, she’d move to the back of the bus.

When Google can’t find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.

Your attraction to Jack Bauer in no way affects your sexual orientation.

Jesus died and rose from the dead in 3 days. It took Jack Bauer less than an hour. And he’s done it twice.

In 96 hours, Jack Bauer has killed 93 people and saved the world 4 times. What the hell have you done with your life?

When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer.

Jack Bauer got Hellen Keller to talk.

Jack Bauer can get McDonald’s breakfast after 10:30.

Jack Bauer once killed so many terrorists that at one point, the #5 CIA Most Wanted fugitive was an 18-year-old teenager in Malaysia who downloaded the movie Dodgeball.

Guns don’t kill people, Jack Bauer kills people.

Every mathematical inequality officially ends with “< Jack Bauer". In kindergarten, Jack Bauer killed a terrorist for Show and Tell. Jack Bauer has been to Mars. That's why there's no life on Mars. Jack Bauer has shot more men in the face than Elton John. If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make a bomb out of MacGyver and get out. Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Jack Bauer laughs at Superman for having a weakness. It would only take 1 bullet for Jack Bauer to kill 50 Cent. People with amnesia still remember Jack Bauer. Jack Bauer literally died for his country, and lived to tell about it. Jack Bauer knows Victoria's secret. What color is Jack Bauer's blood? Trick question. Jack Bauer does not bleed. If you spell Jack Bauer in a Scrabble game, you win. Forever. If O.J. ever met Jack Bauer, he'd confess. "Jack Bauer" is Arabic for "I'm fucked". When Jack Bauer pisses into the wind, the wind changes direction. If Jack Bauer was gay, his name would be Chuck Norris. Jack Bauer does not sleep. The only rest he needs is what he gets when he's knocked out or temporarily killed. Jack Bauer makes onions cry. If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, Jack Bauer hears it.

car sharing

so yesterday i joined vancouver’s co-operative auto network (CAN)… which means i am now a part owner of over 120 cars in the GVRD and i share these vehicles with about 2100 other members… so for $15/month, $2/hour, and 28¢/km… i can book a car online (or call), jump in, and hit the open road… these fees fully include the cost of gas, insurance, city-wide permit parking, repairs, cleaning, bcaa membership, etc… it’s the perfect solution, for those random times when i need to hit-up a big-box store, pick-up my hot date, or to simply soothe the burning craving, i so often get, to drive a motorized vehicle… now, the co-op is not ideal for long road trips or for driving to and from work, or anything like that.. but that’s what rentals and the bus are for… ohh, and the best part.. the closest car to me.. is right downstairs in my building’s parking lot… now only if they would hurry up and activate my account, so i could drive baby, drive!

british accent, online banter & prayers

so tonight i finally went out with my neighbours… and as a result i have learned a very valuable life-lesson.. ‘get to know your neighbours as soon as you move somewhere new’… knock on their door.. do whatever.. just determine if they are kool or not asap… kuz umm… helen and john are pretty kool neighbours.. and well, they are moving back to england on tuesday.. so ummm…. yeah.. i have missed out on a lot of possible good times… and ummm… lets just say i have hopefully learned my lesson…

also tonight… i talked (IM-style) to crissy for, i guess it was, hours… even though it seems like it was just minutes… our conversation at times was aided by the use of handy props like santa hats, reindeer antlers and sunglasses… but yeah, as usual we managed to entertain ourselves… since all these crazy antics we partake in always keep our relationship interesting, entertaining, and quite eventful, even though it remains wholly online…

anyways, i hope my new neighbours are kool.. even tough i have a sneaking suspicion that they won’t be.. and that they will complain about the music i have playing every waking minute… or something… but then again.. maybe they will be awesome.. and have a better music selection than me.. and also have a better bar.. which they will often invite me over to help consume!

fill in the blank

apparently, the dishes were eager to seek revenge against me for the neglect i have inflicted upon them… or maybe the dishes now enjoy being dirty and want to remain in the sink.. either way.. upon the commencement of ‘the dish washing’… one brave glass was willing to take his, or maybe her, own life to cut open my hand… not a bad cut really.. but one that has forced me to halt the dish washing… moral of the story: _______________.

assorted circumstances

so it wasn’t that long ago when i elected to spontaneously jumped on a plane and fly to the opposite side of this fine country of ours… in fact, the last time it occurred was just two weeks ago (about 3 hours after my last post), and this somewhat short visit back to the homeland, was one just sufficient enough to make that weekend seem right…

now, this trip wasn’t a typical trip home for me, it was more like me taking a short road-trip to see a friend that had recently moved a few hours away and me crashing at his place for a few days.. and by that i mean, it was familiar to me but could not facilitate my old routine, or allow me to reoccupy my old bedroom, my old car, or anything else that i would normally do if i still lived there… so in basically.. it was like a real mini-vacation – where i was able to simply visit my family and a couple friends… now, i don’t think i am making this distinction with my ‘feeling’ overly clear…. but that’s the best i can do, in this *cough cough* sick state i am in… but i hope some of you may be able to relate. ohh, and i need to thank my mom, for funding this last-minute trip and for continuing to encourage the development of my irrational decision-making skills. thanks mom!

so that is what happened two weekends ago.. and last weekend was northern voice… which is canada’s blogging conference.. and this is the second year i have volunteered… it was pretty good, as relatively small local conferences go… but i found it somewhat difficult to get there first thing in the morning.. especially since my body now operates on a 7-day cycle.. and that means.. fridays and saturdays waking before 8am can be extremely painful… and well, i didn’t really mingle as much as i normal like to do at conferences, but i think that may have to do with me knowing too many people there and me not being kool enough to be proud of my little, non-revenue generating, non-educational, personal weblog…

now that the update is complete…. the question remains.. what to do this weekend? should i do my dishes (which i really really do need to do now)? should i go shopping? should i work on expanding my ever growing music library? should i make a detailed plan beforehand outlining every waking moment? or should i just roll with the punches?? and hope they beat me into a state that will excite and keep me coming back for more… i think i’ll go with the punches.. cheers!

an unclean dish

so, if you are wondering what happened to me doing that ever-exciting play-by-play of me doing my dishes… well.. lets just say, that event has suffered from an ‘unanticipated setback’… it seems that my self-induced ‘kept-it-tidy’ training program has failed… and i have fallen back in to my old ways… back to a time.. when i truly hated washing dishes…

now keep in mind, for the last year or so, i have more or less successfully kept on top of doing them.. usually cleaning them before i require the use of something that is already dirty. but lately, i just can’t gather enough energy and motivation to stand there, uncomfortably hunched over, while i struggle to wash the remains of food off my cheap ikea-brand tableware.

maybe if the sink was three inches higher or if i had a window or a motivational striper or something, it would be less of an unpleasant chore, but i doubt it. i just don’t think there is anything in this whole world that could make dish washing an enjoyable activity for me, especially if the joy of a clean kitchen isn’t enough to cut it.

have no fear

have no fear… velkr0.org is still here… i have just been somewhat preoccupied with other mundane activities that tend to fill up my leisure time just about as much as writing in this blog does… and to-boot i have had nothing interesting to write about.. until a few moments ago.. when i was scanning my rss reader.. and saw mark’s latest entry on his blog.. and well.. all i have to say is… this is for you man!!! and your link is now back on my site!!! ohh yeah.. and for crystal.. who was actually the first to complain back on the 25th… but who i had moderated out, since i deemed her comment to be off topic.. anyways.. crystal’s comment and mark’s link…is back.. and so am i… more to come later.. like an intense play-by-play of me doing my laundry.. or even my dishes… da da daummmm